My kid's Dad for a week

Why I want to be my kid’s Dad for a week:
I want to be my kid’s dad just for a week, so he can really see how things are: working full time and being a full-time mother to 2 kids. And so I can do want I want:
I want to stay up late and hang out with my friends
I want to sleep in late on the weekends and not have anyone wake me up. Or lay in bed all day and watch TV
I want to lie on the couch and watch TV on a big screen and watch whatever I want. No Scooby Doo or Victorious.
I want to eat whatever I want, whenever I want: to go out for Chinese food
I want to call people to bring me food
I want do whatever I want to do, with no one else to worry about.
I can then call my kids at random times and want to talk.
I want to do fun stuff with my kids and not care how late they stay up
I want to by the fun parent and not discipline my kids, and not get phone calls in regards to their behavior.
I want to not have to get up extra early to get them both ready just so I can go to work
I want to go shopping alone
I want to just hop in my car and run a quick errands – whenever
I want to go the bathroom alone. Take a hot bath and not have anyone knock on the door.
I want to just worry about my self
Just for a week.