Where did my Christmas spirit go? I seem to have it w/Lexi and as long as I'm away from home, its there. Yet as soon as I walk thru that door. I lose it..mostly because he enjoys making my life miserable. He is just a miserable person and chooses to help me get out of the Christmas spirit. Its all a big fight and I'm sick of him and this going no where non existence relationship. I should of never bought that house w/him. I always end up making the most stupidest mistakes. And Im sick of it and Im sick of him and Im sick of having a crappy Christmas season, because of him. Im sick of it all, nothing ever changes w/us and I know he will never change. So I guess its up to me to change and if I change that much...I will have to leave him. Im sure he really doesnt care either way. He is not good for me, why could I see this before..I think I always knew, I was tired of being alone and I wanted someone...Someone like my Dad and my BIL, who help out around the house, who cooks and cleans and doesnt expect something in return. He does one thing around our house, he expects a damn reward. WTF???
I sometimes just wish Christmas was over, how sad is that. Its my most favorite time of the year. It just feels ruined this year.
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