The Ballerina Girl

We went to my sisters for a cook out and the girl from next door was hanging over the fence talking to Lexi the conversation goes:

Girl: whats your name?
Lexi: Alexis the ballerina girl
Girl: I like your shoes
Lexi: Thanks there ballerina shoes

Lexi: would you like to see my ballerina dance?

And she proceeds to start dance around the backyard. No, ideas where she comes up w/this stuff.

DUH!!

I completely hate when I was going to write something and the thought slips right out of my head!!!

STUPID

I seriously have to be the most stupidest person in the world. Why did I honestly think he was going to change and have things be different. He was such a frickin ass this weekend. WHy?? Becuz of a hat, yep a stupid hat that I shouldnt have to pick up. But otherwise it will sit there till the end of time. So he can shove the hat right on up his ass.

I should of listened to my gut and never went back. Cut my losses and stayed at my parents. Well, now I have had it. Im not a maid service to anyone especially people who cant pick up a flippin hat. So the way I see it, is that he made it clear he doesnt want to be w/me. So this time I will be packing up all my stuff and leaving for good. Im not going to do another damn thing for him. Screw him and his way of talking so I always look like the idiot. Fuck him and her. Im out.

March Madness

Well, its the first day of Spring and they are talking about 9 inches of snow. I want to plant these tulips I saw in some ones front yard, not shovel my driveway. Lexi had a fabulous birthday and a wonderful birthday party. Why?? Cuz she deserves it. She also went and did awesome at the Dr's for her 3 year check up. Hopefully she will be that good when I take her to Childrens on April 1st. But, Im not holding my breath. I'm still in limbo over my life and its disgusting and I hate my life. I just dont know what to do, I think I do but I already know I wont do. I think Im going to give myself till April 1, 2008. Im not telling anyone thats how long they have to change or Im going to see a lawyer. That is just how it will be. But I really have to start sticking to it. I think that it should be: J should have Lexi's room done or almost done by April 1st. That should be enough time for a big dent into that room. At least if we got her room done I could clear out some shit in the basement. Maybe thats what I'll start doing on Saturday if J is actually working in the bedroom. DESTROY THE BASEMENT. I think that would be fun. Its just like a dog chasing her tail, thats how I feel. Run, Run, Run and you never catch anything.

A Reminder

If you love someone please tell them before its too late. And if you stop loving them, let them know also. It will be much appreciated in the long run. Thanks alot.

Laziness

I have come to realize how lazy I am. Not the fact that I sit on the couch all day, the fact that I'm to lazy to change my life around. And make myself happy. Now instead of complaining about how life is unfair and I hate my life, you would think I would start to change it. Nope, not I. That's why I am LAZY. And its starting to disgust myself. I keep saying this is my year, just like the past 15 years, yet nothings changes. I live to be miserable I guess. Why do I put myself thru this. No one can change me, I need to change myself. I have made yet another list to get to the root of why I am unhappy and yet most of it is because Im to lazy to change. I have good intentions, I just dont follow thru. Yet I always give good advice to people on how to change their lifes. Yet instead of taking my own advice, I do nothing but be miserable. Why do I do this, I ask myself. I dont know why I dont change, its not like I need to do alot to change, just small things. Like working out and quit drinking so much damn pop. Do I stop drinking the pop and exercise. No, Im too depressed to get out of bed in the morning and exercise. How sad has my life become. Ok, enough complain....Im off to change :)

2008

Happy New Year. I cant believe its 2008, what happened to 2007. Well this has to be my year. I had a horrible New Years Day and I am refusing to spend 2008 miserable and fat. Things have to change and no one can do that for me, but myself. So I started my New Year on 01/02, I havent done anything special or anything Im just trying not to be so miserable and depressed. I should be grateful and I am about certain things. Im just tired of living the way I do. Its to complicated to explain how f-ed up my life is. So Im not going to complain any more Im just going to change it. And if hes not on the ride then I guess he will be left behind. And that is that.